p48 FRED
You left without getting to say goodbye so I'm glad we get to continue to talk. I'm going to New York City today to film and Joanne is coming with me, so we thought you might like to come down and say hello.
Fred honestly didn't want to stop talking to Lloyd. He enjoyed their conversation because he was beginning to discover who Lloyd was, deep inside, what he felt, and what motivated him. Fred didn't want that to end. So he gives Lloyd an easy invite to continue. No pressure. Nothing about "finishing the interview". No agenda, just an opportunity for connection.
Showing posts with label IABDITN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IABDITN. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2020
Thursday, July 9, 2020
IABDITN: It Can't Be Easy
p48 FRED
Andrea, while I have you, I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing Lloyd with us.
ANDREA
Um. You're welcome?
FRED
It can't be easy -- with him traveling, what with Gavin at home.
ANDREA
Thank you for saying that.
Not "let me talk to Lloyd". He remembers her name because she's important to Lloyd, but now that he's talking to her, she becomes real in her own right, and now deserves the same connecting-with that Lloyd deserved. Fred connects by empathizing with the hard thing he knows she's had to do, and he thanks her for her sacrifice because it made his life better. Fred is different because he continually lets gratitude pour out of him.
Everyone does hard things all day long. No one recognizes the hard things others go through. I should recognize and be thankful for the hard things other people have to do.
[A subtle parallel later in the movie, p 57 "I can't imagine it was easy to grow
up with you as a father" and "But you're right, Lloyd -- it couldn't have been easy on them.
Thank you. Thank you for that perspective."]
Andrea, while I have you, I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing Lloyd with us.
ANDREA
Um. You're welcome?
FRED
It can't be easy -- with him traveling, what with Gavin at home.
ANDREA
Thank you for saying that.
Not "let me talk to Lloyd". He remembers her name because she's important to Lloyd, but now that he's talking to her, she becomes real in her own right, and now deserves the same connecting-with that Lloyd deserved. Fred connects by empathizing with the hard thing he knows she's had to do, and he thanks her for her sacrifice because it made his life better. Fred is different because he continually lets gratitude pour out of him.
Everyone does hard things all day long. No one recognizes the hard things others go through. I should recognize and be thankful for the hard things other people have to do.
[A subtle parallel later in the movie, p 57 "I can't imagine it was easy to grow
up with you as a father" and "But you're right, Lloyd -- it couldn't have been easy on them.
Thank you. Thank you for that perspective."]
Sunday, July 5, 2020
IABDITN: Play at the Plate
p33 Fred notices the ring on Lloyd's finger.
He looks for something that's important to the person he's with. Then asks about it. How long? - Fred offers a compliment. Her name? - Fred shows he would like to know more about these things that are important to Lloyd.
[...]
35 LLOYD There's you, Fred, and there's the character you play, Mister Rogers.
Fred narrows his eyes, studying Lloyd, really taking him in.
FRED You said it was a play at the plate. That's what happened to you?
Put in a corner by this man to explain or justify himself, Fred becomes more curious about this man - who has just shown that what's important to him is keeping up appearances. Now Fred is curious about what appearances Lloyd is keeping up.
LLOYD I got into a fight.
FRED Oh my. Who did you get into a fight with?
LLOYD It's not important.
Lloyd chuckles. Fred doesn't.
LLOYD (CONT'D)Jerry
FRED And who is Jerry?
LLOYD My father.
FRED Oh my.
LLOYD I'd rather not talk about it.
FRED What were you and your father fighting about?
Who was involved in the incident, what is your relationship with that person, THEN what was it about.
And never the question of the idly curious, "what happened?".
Fred is more interested in people and their relationships - to objects, to other people - than he is about things, or bare facts about people.
He looks for something that's important to the person he's with. Then asks about it. How long? - Fred offers a compliment. Her name? - Fred shows he would like to know more about these things that are important to Lloyd.
[...]
35 LLOYD There's you, Fred, and there's the character you play, Mister Rogers.
Fred narrows his eyes, studying Lloyd, really taking him in.
FRED You said it was a play at the plate. That's what happened to you?
Put in a corner by this man to explain or justify himself, Fred becomes more curious about this man - who has just shown that what's important to him is keeping up appearances. Now Fred is curious about what appearances Lloyd is keeping up.
LLOYD I got into a fight.
FRED Oh my. Who did you get into a fight with?
LLOYD It's not important.
Lloyd chuckles. Fred doesn't.
LLOYD (CONT'D)Jerry
FRED And who is Jerry?
LLOYD My father.
FRED Oh my.
LLOYD I'd rather not talk about it.
FRED What were you and your father fighting about?
Who was involved in the incident, what is your relationship with that person, THEN what was it about.
And never the question of the idly curious, "what happened?".
Fred is more interested in people and their relationships - to objects, to other people - than he is about things, or bare facts about people.
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
IABDITN: Life Lessons from Mr. Rogers
I've watched "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" at least 3 times now, and I'm endlessly fascinated with how Fred chooses the things he says. Because there's an amazing power in the way he uses words. But it's not enough for me just to be able to quote him. I want to figure out what was going through his head.
Final script here.
p 22 "Well, I figured if you wanted to talk to me, I should want to talk to you."
Faced with yet another person who wanted a piece of his day, he recognizes that he could resist and begrudgingly give the bare minimum. However, he instead chooses to embrace it and give it his complete attention.
p 22 "I try to look through the camera, into the eyes of each child watching, and speak to them, as if individually, trying to be fully present to their feelings and needs.
"Fully present" - so easy to say, so very hard to do.
p 27 "That sword looks very sharp. And heavy too."
He makes a comment about something that is important to the person.
p 28 Well you must be very strong to hold it like that. And you know what? I bet you're very strong on the inside, too."
He makes a comment about a fine quality he infers from the person's interaction with the something that's important to that person.
p 29-30 "Oh, dear. Are you all right?"
"Oh. It looks like it hurts."
"Can we have Evan look at him?"
Fred sees him him, sympathizes with him, offers to help him.
p 30 "Thank you for being here, Lloyd."
Recognizes someone went through some trouble for his sake, to be together with him at that time. (It's a small thing, but how often do I ever think about the other person's inconvenience instead of just my own?)
Final script here.
p 22 "Well, I figured if you wanted to talk to me, I should want to talk to you."
Faced with yet another person who wanted a piece of his day, he recognizes that he could resist and begrudgingly give the bare minimum. However, he instead chooses to embrace it and give it his complete attention.
p 22 "I try to look through the camera, into the eyes of each child watching, and speak to them, as if individually, trying to be fully present to their feelings and needs.
"Fully present" - so easy to say, so very hard to do.
p 27 "That sword looks very sharp. And heavy too."
He makes a comment about something that is important to the person.
p 28 Well you must be very strong to hold it like that. And you know what? I bet you're very strong on the inside, too."
He makes a comment about a fine quality he infers from the person's interaction with the something that's important to that person.
p 29-30 "Oh, dear. Are you all right?"
"Oh. It looks like it hurts."
"Can we have Evan look at him?"
Fred sees him him, sympathizes with him, offers to help him.
p 30 "Thank you for being here, Lloyd."
Recognizes someone went through some trouble for his sake, to be together with him at that time. (It's a small thing, but how often do I ever think about the other person's inconvenience instead of just my own?)
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